It's been such a relief to share our news with the world about our pregnancy. While it gives me the slightest bit of apprehension (What if something goes wrong?!) I have faith that everything will work out the way it is supposed to.
Earlier in my pregnancy, I was really ill and the last thing I wanted to do was bother writing blog posts. Still, I put together a few so I could have a diary of sorts to remember these days.
I haven't decided yet if I'll be sharing them, but most likely those will appear on the blog in the next week or so. It's sort of hard to explain how I've been feeling (except for the nausea, of which I penned a very long post on) but right now it's a mixture of hope, fear, excitement and wonder.
When we were planning our wedding I was very blasé. To me, the most important thing was the ceremony and the reception was not going to be the most important thing that would happen in my life. In hindsight, I could have put a little more effort into our wedding. It gains more significance as the years go by and relatives who were there pass. The photos and memories become more precious.
With Baby Martini my feelings have been the opposite. I feel a great purpose in living and honestly think this is the most exciting and important thing I've done in my life. We tried for some time to have a child (not a terribly long time-- we were very very very lucky), but long enough to have an unbelievable appreciation for friends and family battling infertility. I have so much hope for them and pray they, too, may realize their dreams.
I know all I've been posting about lately is the baby, but whatever. I don't care. It's all I want to talk about, all I'm thinking about and all that is on my mind. Surely I'll look back at this post someday and laugh at the intense absurdity of my emotions but right now I'm just immensely grateful, thankful....and happy.
As always, thanks for sticking around and giving me a reason to keep writing.